5 signs that therapy could help your anxiety

Ok let’s face it - most of us are anxious these days. We’re in the middle of a pandemic that has disrupted all of our lives in countless ways. We just got through an extremely contentious and divisive election, and aspects of that election (Senate races) have yet to be determined. Many are finally acknowledging and facing the reality that system racism continues to pervade our society. There is reason to be anxious!

So the first thing to recognize is that ANXIETY IS NOT INHERENTLY BAD.

Let me repeat that: ANXIETY IS NOT INHERENTLY BAD. Anxiety makes sense when we are under threat. It reminds us about what we care about and it motivates us to do something about it.

I would never wish that anyone got rid of their anxiety completely. If none of us had anxiety, we would’ve all been killed by lions, tigers, and Saber-toothed tigers a long time ago. In modern terms, if we had no anxiety, we wouldn’t jump out of the way of the car, we wouldn’t take protective measures to prevent contracting COVID-19, and we wouldn’t work hard to produce a quality work product. We need our anxiety.

And yet, as most of us know, there are times when our anxiety moves beyond being useful. So how do we know when it’s time to do something about our anxiety?

1.     Your anxiety is holding you back from doing the things that matter to you.

The biggest indicator that your anxiety is no longer helpful is when it is holding you back from doing the things that matter most to you.

Is your anxiety holding you back from going places you care about, or leaving the house at all? Is it holding you back from keeping in touch with friends, opening up to people about difficult topics, or meeting new people through a virtual Meet-Up group? Is your anxiety keeping you from applying to a new job, trying out a new hobby, or studying for that upcoming test? Is your anxiety interfering with you living your life the way you want to live it? This is a key sign that therapy could be helpful for you.

Now, obviously the way that most of us spend our time now looks different because of the pandemic. If you are avoiding doing certain things or seeing certain people because doing so is consistent with CDC guidelines, that is different. What I am talking about here is when anxiety is leading you to avoid doing things you care about that most people would agree are objectively safe.

The voice of anxiety can be powerful and protective, but that doesn’t meet it’s the best estimate of risk! Sometimes we have to acknowledge the anxiety, recognize that it’s just trying to help, and do the thing that matters to us anyway.

2.     You’re really stressed out about your anxiety.

Are you having a lot of anxiety about your anxiety? As I mentioned earlier, some anxiety is helpful. However, there are certainly times when anxiety causes so much stress and pain that it is no longer helpful. If you find yourself worrying about your anxiety often throughout the day, feeling persistently on edge, or unable to relax, therapy could help.

3.     You’ve been feeling a high level of anxiety for a long time.

If you’re sitting at home thinking, yeah I get it some anxiety is helpful, but this monster has been by my side for AGES, this one might apply to you. Anxiety can be helpful when it protects us from a threat, such as a pandemic, a possible job loss, or an accident while driving. But if you have been feeling a high level of anxiety for a number of months or years, chances are that your anxiety has passed the threshold of helpfulness. I’d encourage you to think about the amount of time you’ve been feeling anxious and ask yourself what effect this has had on you. If your anxiety has caused you a lot of stress or interfered with you living the life you want, therapy could help you learn skills for reducing the impact of your anxiety on your life.

4.     Your anxiety is leading you to spend a lot of time doing things to make yourself less anxious, and you’re realizing those things aren’t very helpful.

When something makes us uncomfortable, we want to make it go away. Duh. This sounds obvious, but this can show up in lots of strange ways that feel helpful (and may even be helpful) in the moment, but backfire in the long term. We might drink, eat chocolate, or use drugs to feel better. We might obsessively Google to assuage our fears. We might replay an interaction repeatedly to try to figure out whether we said something weird or did something wrong. We might watch hours of Netflix to distract ourselves from our anxiety. Sometimes we might even face the thing that makes us uncomfortable like that Meet-Up group or that work assignment, but do things to make us feel better like not share anything remotely personal or distract ourselves with e-mail. These things may succeed in making you less anxious in the moment, but in the long term, they are likely to feed your anxiety and make it worse. If you find yourself spending a lot of time doing things to make yourself less anxious, ask yourself if your anxiety is any better overall. Is there a chance it’s actually gotten worse? This is another reason it may be a good idea to seek help for your anxiety.

5.     You want to learn skills for coping with anxiety and stress more effectively.

Unfortunately we’re not usually taught how to cope with anxiety and stress in school. I wish we were! But for now, it’s not in the curriculum. You might feel like you don’t even know where to start, but you feel eager to learn how to cope with anxiety so that it doesn’t get in the way of your life. That is a really valid reason to seek therapy for anxiety.

It’s important to mention that we have psychological tools that are effective in treating anxiety. A lot of researchers over many decades have shown that certain techniques can significantly reduce problematic anxiety, reduce the amount of stress we have about our anxiety, and reduce the impact of our anxiety on the way we live our lives. If you’re interested in hearing more about what this involves, or you or someone you know is interested in seeking help for anxiety, OCD, PTSD, or panic, contact me here or give me a call at 619-330-4010 for a free 15-minute phone consultation.